Rest In Peace, Blondie...

6/14/2005 - 6/27/2019

My little guy, my faithful friend, has now joined his Momma where all the grass is green (and short), and all the days are sunny...He was attentive to my every need and mood, always knowing whether I needed his cheerful attention, or just someone to lie quietly nearby...When there were still two of them they stood ready to guard our home against all threats...Being the bigger of the two, he accepted his role as Sergeant-At-Arms, while his Mom (although a lot smaller) was always in charge as Senior Guard Puppy...He always considered one of his primary responsibilities to be that of providing security for my breakfast...His effectiveness as a Breakfast Security Agent can be proven by the fact that I was never hijacked even once on my way from the kitchen to wherever I decided to eat...

Together they took on the additional duties of Federal Cheese Inspectors, announcing themselves in my kitchen one morning while I was preparing my breakfast...They flashed badges at me (which looked suspiciously like their rabies tags), saying they represented the Obama Cheese Administration (OCA) and were required to sample all cheese for purity before human consumption...Knowing that they were both Democrats, and therefore having mastered the art of welfare living, I accepted their story...Besides, I am naturally never one to question authority from two Peke-a-Poos, even when presented with an obviously concocted story like that, so I complied with their demands and submitted a cheese sample before each of my meals...

When she passed on, he took over the duties of both Senior Guard Puppy and Chief Cheddar Inspector...He was also the best bed buddy anyone could hope for, always being willing and able to help anyone take a nap at any time...He could probably sleep on top of a picket fence if necessary...He and his Mom helped me through some of the most trying times of my life...Although during one year, during the darkest of times, I was denied the comfort of their presence...

When I was betrayed and abandoned by my ex-wife she took both, obviously knowing how much they meant to me...She looked at them as mere property, something to own...When the divorce court demanded a division of property, she knew she couldn't keep both, and asked me which one I wanted...I told her then they were not property, they were family, that they had been together all Blondie's life and most of Bitesize's, and that I would be happy to care for both, but not just one if it meant further dividing a family...In her words she said I could have them both when Hell freezes over...But when the divorce dragged on for a year, and she was forced to move from her rented trailer house to a place which apparently did not consider all God's critters as respectable tenants, I got the call asking if I would take them both...I immediately accepted, and met at the designated place where they were unceremoniously dumped out of her patrol car, abandoning them as easily as she had abandoned me...

They were both scared, dirty, ungroomed and very happy to see me again...I first fed them, then took them to their doctor at Tender Paws Animal Hospital where I was informed they had not been seen in over a year...They both had complete check-ups, got their shots up to date and got stocked up on the recommended food...Their next stop was the groomer where they were bathed, hair and claws clipped and generally pampered...While at Pet Smart, they picked out new collars, bedding, stainless steel water and food dishes and of course new toys and treats...Naturally, being Democrats, when it came to time to settle the bill, they backed away from the cashier leaving me to produce my credit card...

Bitesize died at the age of 14 after succumbing to many of the infirmities which eventually claim us all...Blondie knew it, and although he was sad he knew I still needed him, and stood ready to accept whatever duties were presented to him...My only solace now is that the cancer that was consuming him can no longer cause him any pain, or discomfort...I can only hope that when I am gone somebody, somewhere might think my life had even a fraction of the value given by Bitesize and Blondie...I gave Bitesize her name just because I thought it fit her...Her only puppies were born in one litter...Due to their size, she had difficulty giving birth, and I transported her to the animal emergency clinic where they were born...I named them for the three main characters in one of my favorite westerns, "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly"...Blondie naturally got the name of the Clint Eastwood character because of his blond hair...His brother and sister, Tuco And Angel Eyes, found new homes shortly after weaning...

Both he and his Momma were fearless against any perceived threat, even when common sense should have brought caution, but they differed in one respect in that she was always scared of thunderstorms...Until she went deaf the slightest rumble of thunder at night sent her under the covers next to me to tremble and whine until it stopped...On the other hand, thunder and lightning didn't even faze Blondie...When she made a commotion about a storm at night, he always went to another corner of the bed to get away from her whining so he could get back to sleep...But that changed one night shortly after her death when a freak storm unleashed a bolt of lightning which struck a pine tree next door causing it to shatter the trunk with an explosive flash and roar...From that moment forward he was as fearful of thunder and lightning as his Momma had ever been...

It was obvious they loved each other, and I'm sure they loved me...Even so they were competitive...At times either one of them may not have been feeling well, but at feeding time they each kept their noses in their bowls simply out of concern that the other might get a nibble of unauthorized food...They had a large tub of chewy toys to play with, but naturally the one they wanted most was always the one the other already had...Many battles of good-natured tug-of-war took place, usually ending by the victor being chased all over the house by the second-place winner until each forgot who was the chaser and who was the chasee...They just liked to run...But at some point, as Blondie grew much bigger and stronger than Bitesize, she got tired of always losing the game, and began to just quietly chew her toy of choice, with a low warning growl to anyone who approached...After she passed away, Blondie did not show much interest in the toys, and toward the end of his own life, could no longer finish his own meals...

Blondie was born with a noticeable underbite which he always thought contributed to his appearance as a tough guy...It also gave him a smile that endeared him to every female he ever encountered, human or otherwise...They all loved him, and he knew it...He enjoyed his reputation as a ladies' man, although being permanently leashed to me always curtailed his chances at a more lasting relationship...However, he accepted attention when he got it, but always went home cheerfully with me...For that I am eternally grateful...

So long, little buddy...

He lived to celebrate his 14th birthday recently...Now his patrols are at an end...He was a good boy, and being told so always seem to be his proudest goal...

My eternal thanks go to his doctor, Dr. Joanie Ree, and all the caring professionals at Tender Paws Animal Hospital who all remain my friends...Also to Ellen Stanley who bathed, groomed and pampered both puppies the last few years of their lives, and all the neighbors and strangers who stopped to greet both of them when they were outdoors...

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