A healthy diet...

In the interest of promoting the general health and longevity of my readership here, I thought it might be beneficial to share some of the secrets of how I maintain this physique under the punishing schedule and torturous demands of semi-public life...It is my belief that a healthy diet is the key to successful living, and an explanation of what I permit to be ingested into myself might be of help to others...

I've discussed my doctors in another article, and crediting them with my advancement to my current age, I will share their dietary advice...My doctor who originally diagnosed my diabetes recommended I avoid all obvious sugars, and food which might be prepared with sugar...Since he always followed my advice for maintenance of his vehicles, I adhered to his recommendations also...I switched to sugar-free drinks and foods which led to better glucose numbers at subsequent checkups, although the improvement could not be sustained in later years...I have yet to figure out why sugar-free products carry a higher price tag in the grocery stores when an ingredient is being left out, but I notice now that if I accidentally eat or drink a sugared product, it has a distinctly nasty taste...

Subsequently as I became the patient of new doctors after a move to my current location, I got new advice on healthy eating...My cardiologist said don't eat red meat because it turns into cholesterol, and my endocrinologist advised don't eat white foods such as bread or potatoes because they become sugars...I've never understood color discrimination anyway, but I humored both of them by cooking the red beef and pork until it turns brown, then toasting bread and frying potatoes until golden...I hope they are both satisfied...

Additionally I eat enough bread and potatoes with every meal to absorb any cholesterol that escaped the cooking purification ritual...I've been told also to make sure I get enough greens, and therefore order all my cheeseburgers (nature's perfect food) with pickles and lettuce, insuring a healthy balance...Jalapenos accomplish the same purpose on my pizza...

Breakfast is said to be the most important meal of the day, so I start every morning (after my pot of black Folger's coffee) with three large eggs, scrambled with shredded cheddar and a handful of jalapenos in a few drops of canola oil; five thick-sliced pieces of maple-smoked bacon fried crisp; 12 tater tots (baked to a golden brown) and a glass of orange juice...Alternatively, I may substitute a quarter pound of pan fried deer sausage (annual contributions from my nephews' hunting trips) for the bacon...At one time I drank copious amounts of grapefruit juice also until my cardiologist pointed out that it negated the medicines he prescribed; since then I abstained...

Another benefit may be derived from the application of a mild peppersauce on my eggs, burritos and tamales...In my experience, all my Hispanic friends who habitually enjoy spicy food seem to experience fewer stomach troubles...Apparently this preventative medicine works as I have never had a stomach ulcer...

My personal favorite is Trappey's Red Devil, but I generally buy Louisiana Brand instead because of its availability in quart bottles in grocery stores at a considerable savings in price...The only thing similar in restaurants is Tabasco which to my palate has a distinctly unpleasant metallic taste...An exception to that rule is Firehouse Subs which displays a wide variety of hot sauces including my preferences...

As with all medical advice, mine should be taken in moderation if at all...Your mileage may vary...For an inexplicable reason, I've grown hungry now...Time for supper...

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